News...

I came home today to a blinking light on my machine.
It was my mother.
I think she was a little in shock. But then after I listened to the message, I think I too was a little in shock.
My Grandfather passed away today.
I was ok until I had to explain it to my sweet little boy who's been praying for Grandpa Bruce's recovery, and thanking Heavenly Father that Grandpa Bruce could feel better. I told him that we no longer could go see Grandpa Bruce, that he went back home to live with Heavenly Father and Jesus again. I couldn't do it without crying. Bless Logan's tender little heart, he was so sad. I don't think that he fully understood what I was telling him, but I think that he gathered from mommy crying that it wasn't a good thing. As I sat on the couch relaying the message to my husband who was a work Emma and Logan were sitting at the table and this is the conversation I heard:
Emma: Why is your mommy crying Logan?
Logan: She's sad
Emma: Why is she sad?
Logan: She's sad cause Grandpa Bruce went to live with Jesus.

Maybe he understands more than I give him credit for.

I find myself filled with regrets. Though this is probably not the proper place to air them, I feel I need to get them out. I regret that I didn't listen to the prompting I received more fully. I'm disapointed that I didn't get out to see Nana and Bruce more. I love him, I hope he knows that. I'm so very thankful that I get/got to have the opportunity to be blessed with 3 grandfathers when normally people only get to have 2. He loved us so much, I know that. He came to the hospital to see us when we had both of our precious little boys. The love he had for my children as he cradled them in his arms was akin to the Savior I think. The joy he got as he held his grandchildren was plainly aparent. I'm so glad that he could be a part of our lives, that we could get to know and love him as a grandfather, I'm glad he made my Nana's life so happy. After Papa passed away, she was still our Nana, just a little diminshed, then when Grandpa Bruce came along, he lit her up like a candle. She was so happy. I hope in some way, I can be there for her. Though my part may be insignificant to her greif, if I can be there and help it will be a blessing. I love you Grandpa Bruce, I'm sorry that I ignored things that I should've listened to, it'll be one of my deepest regrets. Thank you for blessing our family with your love. I love you.

Poor Me Post

I know I've mentioned this before but it's still bugging me? if you don't wanna read a poor me post look elsewhere, lol. I just want to know why people find our presence so repugnant? I mean, we never get invited to do something with people other than the two sets of people who are our closest friends. (and some people just can't help that they don't live in town)I kind of feel like an outcast in our new ward, well I did in our old ward too. I feel like I don't fit in. Like I don't have all the nice clothes and well put together outfits. I feel like our ward has already formed little circles of friends and I'm on the outside looking in...still. It really kind of knocks at your self-esteem you know? I just want to know if I've offended someone or if people just generally don't like us? I feel like I always have to invite myself places/to hang out with people just so I can feel like I have friends. I know this is probably stuff I should just put in my journal, but I really need to get this off my chest. I don't want to be someones charity case, that would be more insulting than the whole situation. I just want someone to want to be friends with me because they like me and my personality and want to get to know me better. I don't want it to happen because they feel bad for me. How can you be surrounded by people and feel so alone all the time?

Catch Up

Well, I guess no one but my mother found that last post funny. I've been busy with a couple projects. I swear Stephani those earrings are on their way. We've had a really busy week/end. Friday night my dad called to inform us that my grandpa/his stepdad had had a stroke. He was on his way to the hospital to see how things were going. This is my Nana's second husband and I'm hoping she can hold up under all this stress that's going on right now. His whole left side was paralyzed. We went to see him on Saturday, I must admit I was a little apprehensive about going up to see him. It wasn't him though, I don't like seeing people in pain when there's nothing I can do about it and I always feel akward in those situations like I'm doing more harm than good or I'm just in the way or something. Anyway. He was having some swallowing issues, and last I knew they thought he'd had anoter mini stroke yesterday or the day before. He was on a breathing machine and I didn't know that meant he was on life support. Here's the moral of this story and I'm very sad that I had to learn this the hard way.
About a month ago, I had a prompting that I needed to visit Nana and Grandpa Bruce. I thought I'd make them some banana bread and take it over for a visit. I ended up getting busy and pushing it aside. When we had conference a couple weeks ago I was watching a talk and I had the prompting again that I should go visit them. Again, I got busy and didn't end up going and pushing it aside again. I forgot about these promptings until the night we found out he was in the hospital and we were saying family prayer and it hit me. You didn't listen to the promptings now, look at what has happened. I didn't listen and that could potentially haunt me for the rest of my life. I'm very upset at myself, I should have listened.

Random Loganism

While spending the night at my parents house, watching National Geographic with Papa and Bryce:

Lions on T.V. had captured a poor hippo (sniff, sniff, poor hippo) and were in eating process when the camera catches one lion licking it's chops. Logan turns to Nana with a smile and says:

"That lion just said, this hippo tastes delicious!"


Later on:

Papa to Logan (probably trying to spare his young mind the horror of a fresh lion kill):
"I think that hippo got away."
Bryce: "nuh-uh!"
Logan: "Nuh-uh, they're eating it!"


I thought these were too hilarious to pass up. My mom had to call me to tell me them and we all laughed so hard!

First Pictures

The first pictures are now up on my jewelry site, drop by and let me know what you think. Can't wait to hear from ya'll.

Giving It Another Try

I've decided to try again at online selling of my jewelry. I'd love for you guys to take a look at it. I'm going to try and get the site up and running in the next couple days and put a few things on there. This is something I'm really passionate about, I'd love to see my jewelry adorning ears, necks and wrists all over Spokane. I was selling it in a little tea shop called Mad Hatties, but she closed down so I've got to find another way to sell it. I hope my prices are reasonable enough to tempt you to buy...hee hee. If anything ever breaks on you, just bring it to me and I'll fix it for you. If you'd like to take a look at my stuff there's a link right at the top left of my blog. It's called Babioles. There's instructions there for buying if you wish. Please take a look and let me know what you think.