I came home today to a blinking light on my machine.
It was my mother.
I think she was a little in shock. But then after I listened to the message, I think I too was a little in shock.
My Grandfather passed away today.
I was ok until I had to explain it to my sweet little boy who's been praying for Grandpa Bruce's recovery, and thanking Heavenly Father that Grandpa Bruce could feel better. I told him that we no longer could go see Grandpa Bruce, that he went back home to live with Heavenly Father and Jesus again. I couldn't do it without crying. Bless Logan's tender little heart, he was so sad. I don't think that he fully understood what I was telling him, but I think that he gathered from mommy crying that it wasn't a good thing. As I sat on the couch relaying the message to my husband who was a work Emma and Logan were sitting at the table and this is the conversation I heard:
Emma: Why is your mommy crying Logan?
Logan: She's sad
Emma: Why is she sad?
Logan: She's sad cause Grandpa Bruce went to live with Jesus.
Maybe he understands more than I give him credit for.
I find myself filled with regrets. Though this is probably not the proper place to air them, I feel I need to get them out. I regret that I didn't listen to the prompting I received more fully. I'm disapointed that I didn't get out to see Nana and Bruce more. I love him, I hope he knows that. I'm so very thankful that I get/got to have the opportunity to be blessed with 3 grandfathers when normally people only get to have 2. He loved us so much, I know that. He came to the hospital to see us when we had both of our precious little boys. The love he had for my children as he cradled them in his arms was akin to the Savior I think. The joy he got as he held his grandchildren was plainly aparent. I'm so glad that he could be a part of our lives, that we could get to know and love him as a grandfather, I'm glad he made my Nana's life so happy. After Papa passed away, she was still our Nana, just a little diminshed, then when Grandpa Bruce came along, he lit her up like a candle. She was so happy. I hope in some way, I can be there for her. Though my part may be insignificant to her greif, if I can be there and help it will be a blessing. I love you Grandpa Bruce, I'm sorry that I ignored things that I should've listened to, it'll be one of my deepest regrets. Thank you for blessing our family with your love. I love you.
4 comments:
I'm so sorry for your loss hon. Hugs to you and your family and best wishes.
Poor Nana, a widow for the second time! Don't be too hard on yourself. You know he wouldn't hold it against you!! He knows you love him. We're actually driving up for the funeral so we'll see you Saturday! It will be good to see everyone. My Dad and Becca will be coming up too. Love you, Amy
I am sorry to have read this news. I know that you feel regret but try and remember he is in a great place right now. He is not thinking about any pain or sadness at all. I hope that your Nana does ok, and I hope that you can be there for her how you want to be. Try to enjoy seeing all your family at the funeral. Births and funerals bring families together. Take advantage of that. I hope that you find comfort in your faith during this time as well. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.
Sorry to hear about your grandpa, my heart goes out to you and your family.
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