Friday, February 20, 2009
Falling Off
Well, I'm sad to say I'm totally falling of the weight wagon. I don't wanna be, I've just been so lazy. I feel like I'm eating my way through to my next cycle! I finally quit taking the pill that I was taking because I'd have a cycle every two weeks or every 11 days (sorry I'm trying to keep this as PC as possible.) I know I've probably gained back 10 lbs. I just don't know where to get the motivation from. I'm so lazy. I'm tired of being fat, I'm tired of looking at myself in the mirror and sighing. I'm tired of saying someday, someday I'll look that good again. I'm tired of not being what I picture my husband deserves (boy, we're digging deep into the hurt, it's hard looking at your own self esteem with a magnifying glass. I'm tryin not to cry here as I hash this out.) he deserves someone with a beautiful body. I'm tired of buying clothes from the plus sized section and thinking, just because I'm overweight doesn't mean I don't have a sense of style!!! I wish someone could just take my body and do the work for me. I know that's not how it's going to work, I know that's selfish, I know that's lazy. But that's where I'm at right now. I need to pick my head up outta the dirt and get back in this game. I think I just need to find the right motivation for me. After I had Micah I was all gung-ho to go back to WW and I did, I lost 14 lbs. I'm going out on a limb here, I'm going to do something and maybe it'll help me get a better motivation on it all. I weighed in at my last Drs. appointment, when I was pregnant with Micah and was at the highest I've ever been in my life 270...After having him and going back to WW I've gotten down to 236. This is the lowest I've been in years, when I got pregnant with Logan I was 227. I need to get back to this place. To find my motivation. I'm tired of looking in the mirror and not being happy with what I see.
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4 comments:
Sweetie I have been there and done that for years and you are at a far better place than I am because you actually have made so much progress I have been as high as 290 gotten down to 260 and then climbed back up again. I'm stuck somewhere around 280 or so. I think I have something for you to think about maybe you should turn the focus from feeling bad about yourself and how you look to focus on being healthy so you can be a good mommy to your two active boys who need their mom to be healthy and around for a long time. Maybe you could "work out" by finding a way to go out to the park or something as a family and while Forrest watches Micah for awhile you could play with Logan and then you could switch or something. Just a thought but hon if you need support please talk to me I understand I have been "fat" my whole life and everyone can use a little help and support especially when they are trying to lose weight.
sorry to read you are so down right now. I feel for you and am going through some simular stuff, so remember you are not alone.
Before I met my husband I use to WALK everywhere! It became addictive. I lost tons of weight that way, and not because I was trying but just enjoying getting out in nature and moving. I wish that I could get my mind back to this place so that I could lose some of my added baby weight as well as help me to be a happier person. Winter time in Spokane does not help at all.
I hope you feel better soon.
It sure gets away from us slowly. I was looking at photos from myself taken just a year ago thinking, "holy moly! That's who Garth married...and look at me now!" I think that it's a constant battle for a lot of women- but you can do it- and you will. =)
You ARE one foxy lady you know...
Hey Jandre!
It's amazing to me that everyone I know is in this same battle, all at different points, but it's the same battle! I think that you are doing the right thing, that is looking at yourself and figuring out WHY you really want it and WHAT needs to happen to get there. It's hard though, to be that honest with yourself, so good for you!
I have some friends that started a weight loss blog that we all get on there and support and motivate eachother, you should check it out. The address is http://iwanttoloseweightnow.blogspot.com/ .
You can do this!
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